Why people become addicted:
People that have been deeply wounded, rejected, abandoned, abused emotionally and physically.
A belief is formed at a young age, it's not true of who you really are.
It was put in your mind to keep you safe at a young age, but it's not true of who you really are, and you don't need to be protected anymore as an adult.
Belief: Not enough/ not worthy/ Don't belong/ it's not available to me/ I can't have what I want in life/ I'm a loser.
Most people that are addicts are highly sensitive people that have tendencies towards pleasing people.
People pleasing: Is when we feel responsible for others peoples feelings
It leads us to addictions, because we feel uncomfortable in our own skin.
All these feelings can lead people into addiction;
Root of addiction: People pleasing: We believe we will be happy when other people like and approve of us. We feel then that we belong and are safe.
This creates a feeling of uncertainty because you're reliant on someone's feedback of who and how you appeared to them.
This Makes you completely vulnerable to someone else's opinion of you.
You give up your power, this is a perception of who you are, not who you really are. They don't know who you are.. Very often sensitive people are misunderstood.
Working on your self esteem and self confidence can bring you back to your true authentic self and get you back in balance with yourself.
Also working on and creating healthy boundaries, keeping the good in, and the bad out. ;)
Boundaries: Boundaries are where you feel your true feelings inside, your instincts can help see what you really want. Without boundaries we feel pressured by people to please their wishes and needs before ours.
This causes resentment over time in intimate relationships.
Saying no thanks is a good thing, your boundaries help the other person see you, and respect you and what you want and they can then act on that.
This happens a lot in intimate relationships, it's more difficult to stand up for ourselves.
A People pleasing person: Will attract manipulative people in their life.
These personality types will control and take advantage of your kind heart, they will make you feel badly about yourself, they will take away your power. Leaving you feeling deflated, confused and lost within yourself.. Leading you to addiction.
Folks who are addicted are going from a bad feeling to wanting to feel better.
Food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, phones, work, texting, pain physical
Gambling, sex, exercises, anorexia, shoplifting - All have addictions to adrenaline.. Adrenaline junkie.
Learned helpless-ness things that as a child I can't fix, or stop something that is bad or hard to deal with. They learned this from a parent
They then try to fix their life to be perfect.. And it's too much pressure addicts then turn to drugs/alcohol.
When you feel powerless: Feeling Overwhelmed, confused is running your thoughts and you can't seem to get back to being calm and at peace with yourself.
Depression sets in: Depression is suppressed feelings, suppressed needs, wants and desires not met.
Breaking your own values to please others, you feel empty and overwhelmed, so you give up, you give in and do whatever someone asks..
And then you start to self talk, a stream of negative thoughts come rushing in to make you feel worse. YOU hate being in your own skin..
That is your body telling you something is very wrong..
Reach out for help from a professional like myself, to help you get yourself back into alignment with your true self, bringing you back into balance and strengthening your self esteem and self confidence. To allow you to speak up and set strong healthy boundaries and ask for what you really want, in the shoes of your true authentic self.
Best to you,
Somatics-Embodied Counseling & Clinical Hypnotherapy RTT®
Working with Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, Intimacy & Relationship